As always, it was full of challenges and thought-provoking conversations with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I could probably talk for hours about all the things that were going through my mind this weekend, but I think the main thing that sums it all up was what I wrote in my own personal journal for my Saturday morning quiet time. I guess I'll just type out verbatim exactly what is in my journal. The question for the morning was basically this: What is your alabaster jar? How can you break it? (This came after dicussing Friday night the woman who broke an alabaster jar full of the essence of nard -- very expensive and precious, probably her dowry -- and poured the oil on Jesus' head. She humbled herself before the LORD and gave her 'life' away for the chance to be with Him). This was my answer...
Control. I want to take control of my own life, which actually never belonged to me in the first place. I need to, as cliché as it may seem, 'Let go and let God.' He knows what I need. His plan for my life is flawless. Why do I keep insisting on trying to make my own? Of course, my plans may be in line with the LORD's, but I certainly have not been spending enough time alone with Him lately just listening to His words to be sure of that. It's time to shut my mouth and open my ears and my heart.
Song lyrics playing in my mind during this answer:
Make my heart Your throne
Make my heart Your throne
'Cause I've been ruling kingdoms that are not my own
I bow down at Your feet
I am Yours and Yours alone
So make my heart Your throne
Verse that comforted me this weekend:
Jeremiah 29:11 -- "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
There was so much more to this weekend than that, but it all came down to giving up my life to live a new one for God's will. I came away with a renewed spirit, one that deires to align itself more with God. Easier said than done, of course. But hey, I'm trying.