Monday, October 27, 2008

Cliché as it may seem...

So I just got home yesterday from an amazing Fall Conference with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. This was my 4th and final time on Fall Retreat and I was vary happy with it -- a good memory to keep forever. We heard from our speaker, Mack Stiles, about throwing away your life for Christ. He's a missionary living in Dubai. What a cool guy! And an amazing heart for God :) He was full of wisdom and insight and I'm extremely thankful he flew to the States to share his heart with us. We also, of course, had a bonfire, a dance party, some candy, some apple cider, the guitars and vocal chords were in full swing all weekend, little sleep was had, and many rounds of 'stupid ninja', 'big booty', 'nerts' and 'guesstures' were played. It was an amazing time of fellowship with the other UMD students as well as my good friends at GWU. I love them all dearly and look forward to these trips more than words can describe. There's just something so invigorating about being in a place with so many other believers, just learning and discussing deeper spiritual things with one another.

As always, it was full of challenges and thought-provoking conversations with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I could probably talk for hours about all the things that were going through my mind this weekend, but I think the main thing that sums it all up was what I wrote in my own personal journal for my Saturday morning quiet time. I guess I'll just type out verbatim exactly what is in my journal. The question for the morning was basically this: What is your alabaster jar? How can you break it? (This came after dicussing Friday night the woman who broke an alabaster jar full of the essence of nard -- very expensive and precious, probably her dowry -- and poured the oil on Jesus' head. She humbled herself before the LORD and gave her 'life' away for the chance to be with Him). This was my answer...

Control. I want to take control of my own life, which actually never belonged to me in the first place. I need to, as cliché as it may seem, 'Let go and let God.' He knows what I need. His plan for my life is flawless. Why do I keep insisting on trying to make my own? Of course, my plans may be in line with the LORD's, but I certainly have not been spending enough time alone with Him lately just listening to His words to be sure of that. It's time to shut my mouth and open my ears and my heart.

Song lyrics playing in my mind during this answer:

Make my heart Your throne
Make my heart Your throne
'Cause I've been ruling kingdoms that are not my own
I bow down at Your feet
I am Yours and Yours alone
So make my heart Your throne
Verse that comforted me this weekend:
Jeremiah 29:11 -- "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
There was so much more to this weekend than that, but it all came down to giving up my life to live a new one for God's will. I came away with a renewed spirit, one that deires to align itself more with God. Easier said than done, of course. But hey, I'm trying.